To Love Again.

You find yourself alone again,

A familiar cliff edge at your feet.

The beautiful mists of companionship faded,

into the horizon too far for your soul to meet.

Another unknown heartbeat, so promise filled

that danced with yours, then slowed and stilled;

and you can not shake the question ‘why?’

no matter how much your shoulders tremble.

A cracked vase heart had stood before you-

a fingerprint, a smile, an open door.

But your gentle touch was clumsy still,

upon the grooves that had been yet unexplored.

In the heart that knew how to fake its pulse,

you probed with earnest to demand results;

but those scars that were made from shadows,

were not yours to hold to the light.

And now you stand in the bittersweet winds of truth,

a silhouette, dark, against the setting sun;

and you lament for your misplaced hope and try

to accept of the past what remains undone.

Your mind is a storm, created on your own,

as you battle it to halt your heart becoming stone.

You fear solitude for its cement of cynicism,

that seeps into your veins without warning.

You long for the company of another,

whose certain life assures you of your own,

at those times your eyes cannot hold their ocean,

and the world weighs heavy on your bones.

So you cry out in the night to an empty abyss

Unsure of exactly the object you miss.

And then you turn back to the world with all of its pain

To love and to hurt,

and then to love again.

Escapism.

She wakes up lonely in the chokehold of another mans warm embrace His alcohol laced breath 2 inches from her face His limp arm thrown across her waist. She rubbed her eyes against her mind and it spluttered to waking Her tongue was sour and dry Her fingers were shaking As they reached instinctively to her pocket for a cigerette. and yet, the pocket wasnt there It was on the floor amongst her scattered clothes and dignity Tossed carelessly In a fit of drunken rage and insecurity. She rolled out of bed and in her head dreamt of rolling that next j. She breathed in the scent of last nights disaster like another toke The smoke was there to choke out the demons that lingered on her breath, Because death was always within inches of her trembling grasp. She was always drowning, Downing her sorrows in a shot glass Between turns in a game of puff puff pass. How high did she have to be Before the burning sun between her fingers set her free Til it was bright enough to hide the shadows beneath her eyes, How wasted did she have to get to forget her disguise To forget all the whys To get what the wise had been trying to advise her The mask she wore did not become her. But she could not see that through slit hole eyes Blue glazed Purple haze Stumbling through the night into crippling sobre days All she wanted was to walk without pain All she wanted was to love without pain All she wanted was to go on without walking out of love again and again All she wanted was Dances But there was rain Life but there was pain There were Bridges There were trains There were trains There were- Don't do it. Reclaiming her reality is all she could do. So where is that man with the stubbled chin That rubs into her hair and troubled skin And where is the man with the green and beer Who sinks into her stomach Whispers smoke in her ear And warms her aching arms with freedom.